Monday, June 12, 2006

(Belated) Celebrity Spawn News: The Brangelina Baby

Yeah, I know this kid's already 2 weeks old or something, but I just couldn't bring myself to report on the issue before now. I needed some time to let it sink in that my least favorite Hollywood couple had not only successfully reproduced, but that I couldn't even legitimately Blacklist them. After all, Angelina pretty much started the whole celebrity trend of collecting children from third-world nations, and since we currently do not have a higher ratio of non-adopted to adopted Jolie-Pitt children, I must begrudingly give them snaps for helping our cause here.

However, we can still be annoyed with this family because Baby "Why the hell do I know your name?" Shiloh probably just racked up more money in her first photo shoot than I will see in my lifetime (yeah, I know the money went to charity; it's the principle of the thing). And please stop referring to her as The Most Beautiful Baby In The World. Take a good look at Brad and Angelina. The wrong combination of genes from those two could curse a kid for life. My urgent plea to the world right now is to please stop caring so much about seeing this baby. In the eyes of God, she's just another one somewhere in mid-6-billions.

And suddenly I'm disgusted, with the situation and myself for thinking about it. Perhaps I'll play a game to take my mind off things.

posted by Becky Heineke at 6/12/2006 08:31:00 AM

Comments on "(Belated) Celebrity Spawn News: The Brangelina Baby"

 

Blogger Nothing Really Matters said ... (10:01 AM, June 12, 2006) : 

I like Brangelina. I think people make to much fuss about these two.

 

Blogger Nothing Really Matters said ... (10:07 AM, June 12, 2006) : 

Do you think Brangelina we adopted me??? I’m sure I’ll have no problems fitting into a rich lifestyle and if they want I can spend the money that way they won’t feel bad. I’m such a thoughtful person.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:27 AM, June 12, 2006) : 

That was a fun game! :) Gave me a bit of that stalker feeling I usually get over at Jake Watch...

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:30 AM, June 12, 2006) : 

A lot of fuss over that baby! It would be nice if people paid as much attention to the fact that she also adopted to orphans, and thereby set an example for taking care of the children that are already here instead of making new ones... Altough, she did that too obviously...

 

Blogger Becky Heineke said ... (11:19 AM, June 12, 2006) : 

That game was far too entertaining. :) I have just never seen such a fuss over baby pictures! I feel sorry for Shiloh's siblings, who are never going to get half as much attention. Celebrity worship is just completely out of control. That said...nrm, if you would like to offer yourself up to the Jolie-Pitts, I think I could get behind that. You could infiltrate the Hollywood circle and then bring Jake back to us. That's probably the best plan I've ever come up with.

 

Blogger Nothing Really Matters said ... (1:30 PM, June 12, 2006) : 

Such a good plan. I'm so doing that!

 

Blogger matt of comooxdom said ... (7:08 AM, June 13, 2006) : 

I would like to be adopted by Angelina... or Natalie Portman or... that girl off the OC... or...

 

Blogger Becky Heineke said ... (9:33 AM, June 13, 2006) : 

I am thrilled! I'm still amazed that anyone not directly related to me would read anything I would write, so thanks! I totally agree with you on Angelina, but Brad just doesn't rank that highly for me. I can't even explain why, and saying such things always leads to disgusted looks from those around me. Possibly I'm so blinded by the Gyllenhaal I see no value in other men?

And bfs, if you manage your way into a Hollywood family, you are under the same obligations as nrm to bring Jake to us. :)

 

Blogger Miffed67 said ... (11:19 AM, June 13, 2006) : 

I am SO sick of hearing about Shiloh Brangelina! Get over it, already, people! Everyone acts like she's the fucking Madonna or something, instead of some chick who did what millions of women do every day....have a baby! She's not the Cutest. Baby. EVER., c'mon! She's cute, yes (like she could go wrong with those genes) but so are millions of other kids! Anyway, Angelina is gorgeous, yes....but she ain't all that special in my eyes just because she and Brad had a baby. So what?

Ok, rant done. Phew! I feel better, you?

 

Blogger Becky Heineke said ... (11:48 AM, June 13, 2006) : 

Yes. Always. Ranting is a vital part of my existence. :)

 

Blogger britpopbaby said ... (6:12 AM, June 14, 2006) : 

Have you seen it? Honestly, it has the BIGGEST lips - it looks so wrong on a baby.

Angelina used to be hot when she was crazy and shit but shes lost it now.

 

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Disclaimer: The contents of this blog are based solely on the opinions the author who is not affiliated with anyone. At all. Except herself. This blog is strictly for entertainment purposes. The author would never claim to be anything less than an open liberal, but she's not operating a news organization here. In fact, it's possible she's full of crap (possible, but not likely).

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